Letters From the Front

Time passes differently on the front than it does in the real world. We have been stationed at this position for just over forty eight hours but it is hard to remember that life existed before this. We are still green but having seen a great deal of action in this short time we already begin to harden. There is a second unit here that contains an experienced mom who is traveling without her spouse. We have already established a pattern of providing her logistical support while she provides invaluable tactical guidance. We also have the advantage that the children in both units have worked together before. Like a little old married couple they bicker over the TV remote. Xuanxuan strokes Zheng Hai's hair when he cries, and Zheng Hai offers her all of his drinks and snacks before he takes any for himself. Our local guide Howard has nicknamed him "The Gentleboy" for his chivalrous behavior. Xuanxuan worships him and copies his every move. So far, we have only heard her laugh in imitation of him.

Although it seems like an eternity, in this first moment of quiet I can realize that we have won a lot of ground in these first 50 hours. We met with heavy fire right from the beginning, taking losses in our inexperience. But even in the first afternoon we passed landmarks. When we had to leave the hotel for official business, Xuan held my hand as we walked. When I had to sit for a registration photo Xuanxuan followed me to my seat rather than stand alone. And once when she cried that evening she allowed me to hold her. The next morning, waiting to change money at the bank, Xuan and Hai played. Almost exactly 24 hours after the first explosion, we sat in a hotel lobby waiting for a fax to go through. Chris showed Xuanxuan pictures of herself on the digital camera and she smiled her first devilish grin at him.

Forty eight hours in, we were waiting at the passport office in Qingdao. Both children had resumed normal excretory functions and finally eaten a full meal. Xuan fell asleep in Chris' arms as they sat in front of an offical. Hai had already called Maria "Mama" although he still preferred "Pee" (which apparently is a Chinese slang word that means "Your tongue is so fat you can't speak").

The kids give the rest of strength. We cannot back down in the face of their courage. While Hai uses humor and naughty behavior as a defense, Xuan remains stoic and withdrawn. She refuses to relinquish control and sets her own terms whenever she can. She loves her foster mom intensely and is singleminded in her determination not to be distracted from her loss. Xuan faces us with a spine of steel and a face of stone. She bravely fights her tears unless she can spike them with rage. It takes a tremendous toll on her though, and at night and naptime she sleeps like a rock.

Her foster mom left her with a carved peach pit anklet. Howard says that it is meant to provide fire, which is weaker in her horoscope. He does not know what her dominant element is, but no horoscope is needed to know with certainty that it is earth. This little girl is strong and grounded, immovable as a mountain, even if she is only three feet tall.

I haven't seen her truly happy yet. But when I do, I do not expect her to sparkle like the sunlight through the trees. Rather, I expect her to shine like the luster on piece of imperial jade. Which is why the passport that we applied for today will bear the name Xuan Giada Moses.

Gotcha Day

We met Xuan at the Crown Plaza Hotel in Jinan at 2:30 on Sunday, July 29th, 2007. On that day in Jinan the temperature was hot, with high humidity and raging thunderstorms.

Crystal Ball, or A Hat of a Different Color

Since I've been to Beijing before, I am going to let Chris tell you about it from his perspective as a first time visitor. But I will tell you one story. Before we left, Chris was worrying about which cap to bring. He could only find his white one with red and blue on it (too cheesily democratic) or one with a big red star on in (too suggestively communistic). I bet him a dollar that before we left Beijing, he would have a chance to buy a very appropriate knockoff Beijing Olympics 2008 cap. He finally found a different color hat to bring. Yesterday after our first breakfast in Beijing, our group met in the lobby and headed out to the bus, which was parked 20 feet from the ostentatious front door. Before we could reach the bus, we were accosted by at least three hawkers selling commemorative 2008 Olympics caps.

Okay, that's my bit on Beijing. What I'm much more interested in is the fact that we are probably going to meet Xuan in Jinan tomorrow. The weather forecast for Sunday, July 29 in Jinan is 85degrees F with 86% humidity and scattered thunderstorms. That proves that sometimes in real life, as in the movies, the weather mirrors the emotional state of the characters involved. If only there was a weather satellite that could predict whether events would follow Hollywood conventions as neatly as it predicts the weather orI predict the availability of hawkers.

I’ve been obsessing for months, or maybe years, about what Xuan will be like. I classify names as suitable for certain categories but not others: extrovert, brainiac or girly-girl and wonder which one best describes her. At no time however has this question seemed more urgent than now, as we wonder how she will initially react to being thrown down the rabbit hole and landing in our universe. We know that we will love her unconditionally whatever kind of personality she has, we just wish we knew what to expect so that we could prepare for it. For lack of more concrete evidence, I’ve begun to look for clues wherever I may find them.

For example, Xuan was born in 2004, the Year of the Monkey. What does that mean? According to Wikipedia, monkeys are quick-witted, creative, charming and generally honest, but with a mischievous and selfish side that can make life difficult for those around them.

Her birthday is June 5. That makes her a Gemini. I had to look that one up too. Wiki didn’t have much to say on Geminis, except that the sign is opposite Sagittarius, which is my sign. I don’t know if that is supposed to be good or bad. But another web page identified positive Gemini traits as: Mental Brilliance, Diplomacy, Vivacity, Enthusiasm, Tact, Cheerfulness, Witty and Versatile and negative one of Prevaricative, Indecisive, Lazy and Untidy. Hmm, surprisingly consistent with monkeys.

Last week I even caught myself reading a Birthday Color book. This was a completely new one, but the description on my birthday’s page was accurate, and printed in my favorite color. Chris’s page was too. So we looked up June 5 and saw the color green, which matches her Chinese “lucky stone.” It said she was energetic and positive with an attractive and sparkly personality. But she needed to work on consistency and organization.

As a firm unbeliever in astrology and superstition (except for St. Christopher of course) I was surprised at the consistency between these three accounts. But before I start developing parenting strategies for an extroverted, energetic little girl with a wicked sense of humor, I should add that after looking up June 5 we also looked up the colors for Chris’ mom and sister and could find no similarities to their personalities at all. Fellow Geminis are John Wayne and Paul McCartney, who are so very much alike. And I don’t know enough about the Chinese zodiac to add any debunking details here, but the fact remains that she is just as likely to be a shy, slow-moving little girl inclined to adhere to concrete moral standards without reference to the particulars of a situation. Which would make her just like her mother.

From Takeoff to A Room With A View

Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Plan:
8AM Leave home
9AM Drop off Yatsu at Bone-a-Fide
10 AM Meet Chris Remington for ride to the airport
11AM Arrive SeaTac Airport
Pass through security
Shop Duty Free for officials’ gifts
2:50 PM Flight 7 on NW Airlines departs (flight time 10 hrs 15 mins, distance 4,776 mi)

Wednesday, July 26, 2007
5:05 PM Arrive Tokyo-Narita Airport
6:25 PM Flight 11 on NW Airlines departs (flight time 3 hrs 55 mins, distance 1,313 mi)
9:20 PM Arrive Beijing Airport
Meet Guide (Charlotte)
Transfer to Wangfujin Grand Hotel
Sleep.

The Event:
Before we left, Remy wished us an uneventful trip. Apparently his blessings count for something, because this is about how it went. A short delay at takeoff was made up on the way to Narita, the AC was too cold on the second flight, and the video failed on the Narita-Beijing leg of the flight, so I never got to find out if Jasmeet married parent-approved Arjun or stuck with her English boyfriend in the Bollywood movie Namaste London as a result. But I did learn that Blades of Glory is Will Ferrell's best movie ever; you can really train animals to do anything (102 Dalmations, live action); Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz made a statement on American foreign policy while wearing corsets, trick riding and robbing banks in Bandidas, and Garden State really was a good indie movie.

Our hotel abuts the hutongs and our room has a view of the Forbidden City. Unfortunately, we can't find the camera connection cable, so there won't be any pictures.

From Takeoff to A Room

Listo!

One of the drawbacks to being well read is that you never get to express yourself directly. Whatever you are feeling, you know somebody else has already said it better than you could. For example; every time I prepare to travel, I go through a fear phase. I worry about what I'm going to miss at home, what could go wrong on the trip, whether the plane will crash or some third world bus will jump off a cliff with me in it. Sometimes fleeting, sometimes intense, this fear lifts anywhere from a few days before I leave to a few days after. When it does, I find that I am a different person than when I'm at home. People who meet the traveler-me see a person who is more confident, adventurous and outgoing than the person folks at home would recognize. Part of the reason I love to travel is because I love spending time with the traveler version of myself.

Every time I pass through my pre-departure fear, I am reminded of For Whom the Bell Tolls, in which Hemingway described the phenomenon better than I ever could. On the eve of battle, one of the Spanish fighters thinks back to life in his pre-war village and remembers his fame in the annual bullfight. He had been a local celebrity for his reckless courage in the bullring, having once even bitten off the ear of a bull. What no one else knew was the fear he felt every single time the annual bullfight approached. He was relieved when the festival was canceled because of rain. In fact, he prayed for rain every year. But on the day of the festival, acting against every impulse in his heart, he always entered the bullring and became a different man, stronger and better than his everyday self.

I don't know if Chris has this experience or not. I'm pretty sure he doesn't meditate on Hemingway, but he at least has a good sense of narrative. This morning we walked down to The Dish for breakfast. It was a lovely walk down, we were served a delicious meal and we were quite relaxed until the toddler at the next table started screaming. And screaming. And screaming. We tried to ignore it and enjoy our breakfast. But after watching me cringe for several minutes (that noise really does top fingernails on chalkboard) Chris commented, "It's just like foreshadowing in a novel. It's quite literary, really."

Foreshadowing of terrors to come it may have been, but for me, sometime yesterday the fear lifted and the traveler stepped into the ring. I'm ready to go.

Captain's Log

The expedition leaves tomorrow, and throughout the camp there is an air of tension. The animals, perhaps sensing that they will not be included in the next leg of the journey, are anxious and require more attention than usual. The camp will be maintained in our absence by a few trusty colleagues, who will care for the smaller animals and botanical specimens. The dog will leave with us tomorrow morning, but will travel only a short distance. He will be left at the Bone-a-Fide Dog Ranch, where we will change directions and set a course for the airport.

It will be a relief upon our return to find the camp intact and all of the animals well, for I am quite attached to them, and it pains me to leave them behind. But for now I must turn my thoughts forward to the expedition. It has been many years since this partnership engaged on a project involving such distances, and never have we undertaken a mission of such significance. Our plans are well laid, the support team is experienced and the intrepid Mrs. Dao has gone ahead to scout the trail. Yet we will both be required to perform our best under adverse and unpredictable conditions for we are chasing a prize greater than Lewis and Clark could have dreamed.

We depart in less than twenty-four hours, but much remains to be done. Supplies are all in, but not prepared for transport. The camp is scattered with packages and the debris of preparation. It is only past experience that allows me to believe such a mess will in a few short hours collapse itself into four or fewer cases, plus one bag each to carry upon our person. I check and cross check multiple lists to ensure nothing is forgotten. We will be able to restock many items along the way, but there will be no turning back for anything that is left behind. My partner Chris, though less systematic in his approach, is also busy pulling together loose ends. I do not discern the method to his exertions; still I know from long years of our work together that in the end he will be the better prepared of the two of us.

Although the task at hand is immense, there is no doubt that we will obtain our objective. Compounded with our nervous fears is also excitement and we are anxious to begin. By this time tomorrow we will be well on our way, and then all will be well.

Lucky Charms

I first heard about St. Christopher as a high school student listening to a heavy metal album by The Bulletboys. It contained a song with the lyrics, “Hang on St. Christopher on the passenger side, open it up, tonight the devil can ride.” It was years before I found out that the line belonged to Tom Waits, but like a good Catholic-school girl I looked up St. Christopher right away. I found out that Christopher was a ferryman with very little personal history whose primary miracle was carrying a baby Jesus across a river even though the baby weighed as much as the sins of the world. In the middle ages, it was believed that a traveler could not die on the road in any day in which he set eyes on the image of St. Christopher.

When I first read about him, I wondered why a ferryman would agree to carry an unaccompanied toddler across a river. Apparently, in 1969 the Catholic church started to wonder about that too. Added t0 the fact that there is no evidence he ever existed, they reclassified Saint Christopher’s feast day, July 25, as a “local commemoration.” I took a liking to the demoted patron saint of travelers. When I found that in some traditions St. Christopher had the head of a dog, I could only like him more.

On my first major backpacking trip I found a Saint Christopher medallion in a flea market in Mumbles, Wales. Even though he had a beard and not a dog’s head, I bought it for three pounds. I put it around my neck, and didn’t take it off until I got home. Since then, I have worn my St. Christopher on every international trip I’ve taken, except for one time when I forgot St. Chris at home and ended up running away from that job in Japan.

A “jade” bead wrapped in silver wire shares the chain with St. Christopher. At the night market in Chiang Mai I spotted the little piece of jade among a bunch of crap on a table on the sidewalk. They were asking 300 baht. Fresh from India, I aggressively bargained the seller down to 80 baht. Proud of my prowess, I strung the auspicious bead on Christopher’s chain and continued down the street.

Three doors down, I entered a bead shop where I saw my new silver-wrapped bead in a bin with dozens of its kind marked 30 baht each. Now I wear it to remind me that saints’ powers of protection are limited and a traveler needs to watch out for herself. But also, since thirty baht was worth about forty-five cents, it reminds me not to take myself or my travels too seriously. When you travel, you make mistakes, and things go wrong, and it doesn’t really matter that they do.

This morning I put my lucky charms around my neck so I’d have one less thing to think about when I leave for the airport on Wednesday. This year, I’m doing St. Christopher’s feast day right, and I don’t want him to miss out.

Hang on St Christopher- we’re going for a ride.

DTC

The time has come the new mom said

To talk of many things

Of Xuan and trips and dossiers and calendars and fees.

Gemma With Confirmation Letter

Something about having children makes people start to memorize dates. Before children, most people are unlikely to remember the date
of major life events. Can you remember what date you closed on your first house? The date you met your future spouse? The date on which you broke your leg? When you are young, you only memorize the dates of significant historical events in history, and only in history class.

But parenthood, apparently, turns life events into significant historical events. You can ask a new mother the date she discovered she was pregnant, or ask a grandmother what her due date was when she was pregnant with her now-grown child, and the odds are she will remember.

This is as true for adoptive parents as it is for biological ones, although the dates they remember may be different. The two most frequently discussed dates among adoptive parents are DTC and Gotcha Day. Gotcha Day is fairly obviously named. It is the day when you finally take custody of your new child. Our Gotcha due date is July 29.

DTC is less obvious. It is the acronym for Dossier-To-China. Your DTC date is the day on which the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in Beijing logs your completed application for adoption into their system. While pregnant couples measure their lives against the days remaining till their due date, waiting adoptive parents measure their lives in days (or months) since DTC. Our DTC date was July 12, 2006.

In honor of the one year anniversary of our DTC, and our new historically significant status, here is a list of important dates in the timeline of events in the adoption of Xuan. For all of you non-parents out there, there will be a test later.

Date: Event:

June 5, 2004 ..................Xuan born in Shandong Province

June 8, 2004 ..................Xuan in custody of Qingdao Children’s Welfare Institute

November 26, 2004......Gemma’s 30^th b-day qualifies C&G for Chinese adoption

C&G first meet with Mrs. Dao to discuss adoption

January 30, 2005..........Submit Letter of Intent to Adopt

July, 2005.......................Overwhelmed homestudy, ignore paperwork

October, 2005.................Resume Homestudy

December 23, 2005........Complete Homestudy

April, 2006.......................Submit Dossier to Faith International Adoptions

Begin I-600A Immigration Documentation

Dossier returned for corrections and updates

June 31, 2006...............Submit Dossier to Faith International Adoptions, again

July 12, 2006.................DTC

February 22, 2007........Called Faith to Investigate Special Needs Program

Received Information about Zheng Xuan

February 26, 2007 ........Submitted Letter of Intent to Adopt Zheng Xuan

March 5, 2007................Translated Notarized & Authenticated Letter of Intent to China

April 19, 2007.................Received request for more information from CCAA

April 24, 2007.................Additional information mailed to Chinese Consulate in SF

May 14, 2007..................Translated Notarized & Authenticated Additional Information

hand delivered to CCAA

June 7, 2007.....................Received Confirmation Letter permitting adoption of Xuan

June 12, 2007..................Signed Confirmation Letter returned to China

July 5, 2007.....................Received Travel Approval

July 25, 2007...................Couple Leaves Seattle

July 29, 2007...................Anticipated Gotcha Day

August 6, 2007................Appointment at US Consulate in Guangzhou

August 9, 2007................Family Returns Seattle

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, a little girl was born. To be precise, the time was June 5, 2004, and the kingdom was Qingdao, People's Republic of China. For reasons that will forever remain unknown, her parents could not keep her. Three days after she was born, they wrapped her in a blanket, lay her down at the edge of a wheat field, and then walked away. We may speculate on who they were, and how they felt at that time, and whether they called her by name in their memories. But we do not know those answers, and this is not their story.

This is the story of the little girl who was found by the farmer who worked in the wheat field. She was small, even for a newborn, and she had a large gap in the roof of her mouth and her top lip had three parts instead of one. The farmer could not have known by looking at her that she would be the heroine of a great adventure. But like Moses in his basket, or Taran the High King of Prydain on the edge of a battlefield or Lyra on the steps of Oxford, this seemingly hopeless beginning was just the beginning.

Her first adventure would take place at the age of three, when she would travel the length of China and cross a great ocean to live in an exotic foreign land. But first, like Oliver Twist, she was taken to an orphanage, where she was given a name. Unlike Oliver, her fortunes began to improve immediately, and she was given the name Xuan, Precious Jade.

It was not long before Precious Jade was sent to live with a family. To be precise, it was four months. The mother of this family treated her very well, and fed her the fruit that she loved. The girl grew quickly, and became strong and healthy. She learned to crawl and then to walk and finally she learned to talk. She learned to play outside and play with toys and she became attached to her foster mother, who was a very interesting woman. She was very kind to Xuan, but she could not keep her forever. We might wonder why this is so, but we do not know the answer, and this is not her story.

When she was twenty months old, Xuan was sent to a hospital, and a doctor performed surgery on her lip. After that, it was much easier for everyone to see that she had a very pretty face. At this time, Xuan's story had begun to be quite pleasant. But it was also at this time that her story began to be interesting, although she herself did not know it.

All of the information about Xuan's life was put together in an envelope and sent to a kingdom across the sea, where a childless couple lived and yearned for a little girl to call their own. They saw the picture of Xuan, and read the story of her life so far, and knew that she was the child they had been waiting for. They sent a petition to the Chinese officials in charge, and begged to be allowed the honor of caring for Xuan. At last, their petition was granted. They hurriedly packed their bags and left their home to cross the sea to reach their Precious Jade. To be precise, it was July 25, 2007. And that is when things became really interesting, because that is when the adventure truly began.